love is blind
by thefairytalefreak
Summary: after being seriously injured in an accident, Kendall is left with a scar for the rest of his life. would James still be able to love him? better than it sounds. i cried while writing it so i hope you cry while reading it. slight cargan.


_**Love is blind**_

**A/N: I've been working on this for about three days now. Excited to finally be able to share it with you all. So in the show, James diamond is too vain for his own good but he is still good at heart and how I got that's how I got the idea****! **

_**Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind. And therefore is the winged cupid painted blind. - William Shakespeare **_

Kendall got off work at around 7pm. He worked for a publishing house. He opened the door and slowly got into his jaguar xk. Kendall's life was nothing out of the ordinary, he had a job he was good at but not particularly passionate about, he had two best friends Carlos and Logan who lived in the apartment next to his and his love life…let's just say it was like an ipad 3. Ya, he didn't have an ipad 3. The only thing even remotely interesting in his life nowadays was James. James had just joined the publishing house and was kept under training for a couple of weeks. Kendall had been given the responsibility to train James, which is how he knew James in the first place. You see boys like James never are interested in boys like Kendall. While Kendall was painfully ordinary, James was not. He had the looks of a Greek god with his hazel eyes, six pack abs, high cheek bones and long eyelashes. He was witty and sarcastic but at the same time never rude. Also he was _extremely_ rich and was friends with a lot of high-class and glamorous people. Kendall saw his photos ever other day in the newspaper, seen at some big Hollywood party or the other. All Kendall had wanted to do for the past three weeks was the throw James over the desk and fuck him senselessly. But unfortunately Kendall knew that would _never_ happen. So he just day dreamed about the hot brunet.

He came back to reality when a light so bright that it hurt his eyes came into view. Suddenly he heard a loud honking noise and then all the air in his lungs was pushed out when he was thrown forward towards the windshield. His body flew out crashing the glass of the windshield and landing on the road, where many cars passed by his lifeless and bloody body but no one stopping to help. Then the plain came crashing down and he couldn't take it anymore. He closed his eyes and let the dark take over.

"Kendall? Hey buddy, you okay?" asked Logan concerned.

Kendall slowly opened his eyes, not much but just enough to see Logan's blurry face. "Yeah, I guess." He said in a raspy voice. "Where am I?" by now Kendall was trying to sit up with the support of his elbows but soon realized that chords where attached to his entire body connecting it to different machines all around the room.

"You are at the TTF hospital. At first they took you to some normal hospital but as soon as they called Logan and me up we told them to transfer you here as Dr Hollywood, your family doctor was here and he knew all about your medical history and all. He even gave us a discount on your treatment." Said his other Latino friend, Carlos.

Kendall slowly rubbed his hand over his face and was thrown back due to shock when he felt his hand touch a hard, fissured surface instead of his cheek. "Guys, what on earth happened to face?" he asked, panic clearly visible in his voice. He got even more worried when no one answered his question. Both his friends lowered their heads down and were now staring at the hospital floor.

"I want to see my face." Kendall demanded suddenly. Logan frowned and Carlos chewing his lip took a step forward towards Kendall. "I don't think that would be such a good idea" he said, voice low and externally soft, not wanting his friend to be more scared than he already was. "Carlos just shows it to me. I just want to know what I look like. I mean, c'mon it's my body, I have the right to know." Kendall was now almost begging, pleading to know how bad the scar was.

Logan sighed and handed Kendall the mirror "please just try not to freak out." He said with a comforting hand draped around his friend's shoulder.

Kendall was shocked when he saw what looked like a ruined copy of himself and what he used to be. Most of the right side of his face was ruined, a huge scar covering his right cheek almost entirely finishing just above his lips. Thankfully they weren't damaged. Logan saw the look on Kendall's face and started stuttering that how he should be lucky that his eyes weren't hurt and all but Kendall didn't hear a word he said as he slowly shifted back to the dark.

The next day a lot of friends and family came to visit. Even the entire staff from his office came, well except for James. Kendall's mom and little sister came and stayed for almost the entire day doing almost everything for him, as if he was handicapped. Logan and Carlos also came by in the evening as soon as they got off work. After his family left in the evening with a promise of coming back tomorrow, Kendall was finally left alone with two of his best friends.

"So how did the meet and greets go?" asked Carlos smiling softly while pouring water for him. Kendall wasn't used to this, yes Carlos was very caring and soft but that was quite rare and usually only with his boyfriend, Logan. With Kendall he was always playful and rough. But Kendall didn't mind that, he actually quite enjoyed it. While Logan was the serious one always telling them to back off and take care Carlos was the fun one, always ready to do something crazy. It was a perfect balance. But now things seemed different, both carols and Logan were being extremely gentle with him, as if he was an infant. And he didn't like at all.

"I will be able to go back home in about a week's time and will join work after two." Kendall said shrugging.

"So I heard your entire staff from office came to visit you today," Logan said trying to lighten the mood. "Did that guy come whose name you keep screaming whenever you getting off?" he finished with a wink. At this Kendall turned shades of scarlet and having pale skin didn't help at all. Carlos just laughed and smacked his boyfriends back lightly.

"No" Kendall said, his voice lighter than he had liked it to be. "As a matter of fact he didn't come and visit." "Oh and by the way his name is James, James Diamond."

"Ah, I know it was totally jerk-ish of me to not to come visit with the whole staff, but I wanted to meet you separately. After all, I do like to think of both of us as more than just work mates and plus, I even got a chance to pick up flowers for you while I was on my way." said someone from the doorway. He slowly walked towards Kendall and handed him a bouquet of white roses with a wink. Kendall bushed again and hoped that it wasn't visible. What he hoped from even more was the fact that James hadn't heard what Logan had said just moments before.

He was reluctant towards showing his scar to James, so he kept the right side of his face towards the wall. "How you doing, knight?" James asked in his casual tone. "Well, I'm hanging in there. Or well, that the least you can say." He said with a small laugh at the end and scratched the back of his head.

James laughed and Kendall turned his head towards him so that he could get a better look of his gorgeous face. But James just stumbled back, using his hands to gain balance again. His face turned from shock to disgust and then finally to a neutral expression. Kendall smiled bitterly at him, "sorry, should have warned you about how hideous I look now."

James red cheeks turned even redder and everyone in the room could sense the discomfort. "n-no" he stuttered "it's just that you caught me by surprise. Honestly, that all." He glanced towards his wrist, though he wasn't wearing a watch. "I…um should better get going. Have to work and all. See you at work." He almost ran out of the door.

Carlos snickered after James was nowhere in sight. "Oh my god, he almost pooped his pants just looking at your face." Then he started laughing hysterically. But the look on his boyfriends face made him stop, looks like he will be getting a long lecture on the way home.

Kendall was discharged from the hospital in a week's time and joined work in another two. Today was his first day back at the publishing house and he had decided to come in a little bit early, just to set up and catch up with things since he hadn't been to work for so long.

He tried to unlock his office door to get in but unfortunately, it was jammed. It wouldn't take his key in. suddenly he felt a hand on his shoulder and a velvety voice from behind said, "need a little help there, Blondie." He turned back to see James smiling at his warmly. He could see that James was trying very hard to keep his expression neutral and look like he wasn't disgusted. Kendall just moved back, giving James room for whatever he wanted to do to help him.

"Who changed the locks?" Kendall asked.

"Um, I did. Oh and here is your new key." James replied, handing Kendall a tiny key that looked exactly like his old one, expect for it wasn't. Just like James, Kendall thought. Even though James looked the same, Kendall knew his and Kendall's relationship would never go back to how it was before the accident.

"Why did you change the lock of my office door?" confusion dripping from Kendall's voice. James smiled again as he stepped back allowing Kendall to go in first. "Well you see, the publishing house is a little short on cash. So they had to rent the entire third floor to other company to make some extra cash and well as they didn't have enough space for everybody, they asked some employees to share offices. They asked me if I minded sharing an office with you and I said I wouldn't, after all we came kind of close during the training. Don't you think?"

Even though James was talking to Kendall, it was very evident that he was trying to avoide the sight of Kendall's face. His eyes looked at the ceiling, the wall, the floor, at everything expect for his office mates face. Kendall just sighed and nodded, wanting to get to work as fast as possible and trying not to be offended by the fact that his beautiful man that he had, had a crush on forever was disgusted by him.

As the day went on Kendall didn't know what hurt more, the fact that James was disgusted by the way him or the fact that he looked so _good_ while silently broke down Kendall's self-esteem into a million little pieces. Honestly, he looked like someone who had just stepped out of GQ magazine. Wearing a plain white v-neck with tight black jeans, that made his as look especially fuck-able.

After a few hours, Kendall stretched and made a yawing sound like a little dying whale "look, it's time for lunch. Do you want to have lunch with me?" he asked hopefully.

James just got up from his table and started collecting his stuff and putting it in order. He smiled while he spoke but still didn't look at Kendall. "I'll be going to someplace that serves actual food, not just bull-shit. You go ahead, I anyway promised Mercedes that I would have lunch with you." Mercedes was griffin's daughter; he was the owner of the publishing house. He was a blonde like Kendall and very pretty, like James. But her attitude sucked so much that a vacuum cleaner would be jealous of its sucking power.

He merely nodded and walked out of the office. That day, he had lunch alone. He wished that Logan or carols worked with him, this way least he would have some true friends around and wouldn't feel like an outcast. He had never before been an outcast, not even in high school and to say that it felt bad would be an understatement. He sat facing the wall, worried that his face might kill other people's appetite. He finished quickly and headed back to his office.

"Such a waste." Kendall could hear a voice saying from around the corner. "He was actually kind of hot, but now his face is just stomach-churning. Can you imagine kiss him? God, so horrible. He would have to date a blind." James soon rounded the corner, talking to Mercedes. When he saw Kendall, he realized he had been overheard. He turned red just like he did the other day in the hospital and quickly walked away.

**FIVE MONTHS LATER.**

Working with James was completely horrible. In the short time that James and Kendall had worked together, Kendall had slowly fallen in love with him. He had always had a little crush on James and had always lusted over his exotic body. But after getting to know what a wonderful person he was, Kendall couldn't even help but love him. Even if James was disgusted by the sight of his face.

What Kendall hated the most was that he wasn't the only one who wanted James. Everyone at the publishing house knew James was bisexual, so every man and women in the office not matter what their sexual orient tried to get into James's pants.

Right now, jet who also worked in the publishing house with them but on the second floor was buzzing around James desk like an annoying bee. He was tall and extremely handsome with high cheek bones, bronze hair and a body to die for. He looked as if Brad Pitt could be his father, but even then he didn't hold a dime against James.

After he left Kendall growled like a territorial dog. "The only he could be more blatant, is if he stripped naked and lay across your desk, ass up."

James looked up from his work and frowned "who? Jett? C'mon now, I don't know what you are talking about." "Jett is constantly throwing himself at you." Said Kendall matter-of-factly.

"Really now? I didn't even notice." James turned his attention back to his work, then all of a sudden his head shot up and his hazel eyes filled with glee. "Are you jealous? Does our little Blondie here like Jett?" asked James in a teasing tone.

Kendall just got up from his chair and started to walk out of hi-_their_ office. "I'm off to lunch." He announced. But before he could get out of the office he tripped over his own feet and fell straight on his face. Soon James was behind him, helping him up.

"Careful Blondie, don't want to damage that face of yours more than it already is." He said, helping Kendall up. That was the thing, since Kendall knew that he was disgusted by the way Kendall looked, James was the only one who would joke about it and pass such comments. And as much as Kendall hates to say it, he kind of liked it. At least James was honest with him and he knew that when James was being nice to him, he actually meant it. It wasn't just 'because he had a victim of such a horrible incident.

"Why don't you have dinner with me today? I always see you sitting alone in the cafeteria, it must get boring." James was right, it did get boring. Awfully boring actually, sometimes it was so bad that Kendall wouldn't even go out for lunch and just sit in the office all alone, sulking. He had lost almost six pounds because of it and had become even skinner.

"Um…um…yak, I guess I can do that." Kendall said softly, not believing the fact that James wanted to have lunch with him.

James led Kendall to the nearby Italian restaurant where a blonde girl came up to their table excitedly. "James!" the girl shouted. "You look good today, but then again you_ always_ look good. Will you sit with me today?" she asked, completely ignoring Kendall.

"Sorry, Halston. This is a working lunch, some other time, perhaps."

"Okay well, some other time." The girl, halston left after giving James a grope-y hug.

As soon as she left their table Kendall grumbled, "halston had more than just lunch on her mind."

"hm? Oh, halston is just friendly."

Kendall squeezed the armrests of his chair as he watched halston leering over James while he took of his suit-coat. _Friendly?_ Ya, right. Kendall was growling inside again.

Soon it was time for the annual New Year's party at the publishing house. Everybody was busy picking dates, deciding what to wear, and other crap. And James was obviously the most asked out person at the office. Right now, dak probably the second most handsome guy in the office was trying to ask James out.

"So, ah, James, are you, like, going to the new year's party?" asked dak.

"I'm on the decorations committee, dak, so what do you think?" dak just looked blank and James sighed. "That would be a yes."

"Oh. Um. Hey. Are you, like, going with anyone? Or whatever?"

Kendall dropped his head on the table with a loud _thump_ sound. This was painful on so many different levels. "You're awfully concerned about my social life for someone who isn't my friend." Said James with a soft smile. It didn't matter what James said or however rude he was, if he smiled everyone just melted.

"Um, we could, um, like, become friends. Or something." Said dak, rubbing the back of his head.

"Off course, you are so sweet. Who wouldn't want to be your friend." James said, smiling again.

Kendall couldn't take it anymore. "He's trying to ask you out, James."

A line appeared between James's eyebrows. "Really? Why?" dak tried his best to answer but the only thing that came out of his mouth was "um…umm…"

"Well, Kendall here is single. Why don't you ask him?" James asked swiftly. At that dak's entire face turned red and he almost flew out of the office.

"Great work, James"

"A date with him? Please, I rather date a door-matt with ears."

"c'mon. He is pretty good-looking." Kendall pointed out.

"Well, looks aren't everything."

"Says _you_"

James just pulled his jacket on, ready to leave for lunch. Before going out of the door, he turned around. One hand on the door knob and one foot already out. "Plus, he was stupid enough to deny your company for an entire night. I really can't date a man _that_ dumb."

At that Kendall just blushed while James left.

Just a few days before the New Year's party the entire interior of the publishing house changed, even James's and Kendall's office. James had moved his desk so that it would be facing Kendall's. James was leaning back in his office chair, feet up on his desk as he went through some paper work. He lowered his work and smiled at Kendall. That when Kendall finally realized that James no longer avoided looking at his face.

Kendall sat down on the other table, facing James and asked casually "so, decided on who you are going to take with you for the New Year's party?"

James just smiled sweetly, "I have someone special in mind. He'll definitely be worth it."

Kendall couldn't and more so, didn't want to hear anymore. He got up and left the office. "I'm going to set some air." He said before stepping out into the cold. Yes, it didn't snow in LA but that didn't mean that it wasn't bone freezing cold.

Kendall walked down the street thinking how could he be so _stupid_? To fall in love with someone who was disgusted by the sight of you. Seriously, what was he thinking? It was even more surprising for him 'because in reality Kendall had never been in love before. His parents had, had a nasty marriage so Kendall had always wary of relationships. Not wanting to get hurt just like his parents did. But now, Kendall had gone and did just the opposite. This hurt even more than his accident, even more than the fact that people didn't want to be around you anymore…this hurt more than anything, ever can.

He wanted to cry, he wanted to curl up into a little ball and cry until he couldn't breathe anymore. Just like he did when he was a little kid and his parents would fight during the night, thinking that he was asleep. But rather than doing that Kendall started laughing. Right there, in the middle of the street, in front of everyone.

What would have happened if Kendall hadn't been in the accident that night? Would he and James be together by now? All these thoughts clouded Kendall's mind almost every night, but now they seemed useless. Imagining what would have happened was a waste my time. It _had_ happened and that is all that matters. It doesn't matter how much he tried, he couldn't change what had happened in the past. All he could try to do was make the present better and that is exactly what he was going to do. He had made the decision.

"You're leaving? Why? I thought we worked so well together. Plus, you have been doing this since you were twenty-three, you can't just get up and leave now. C'mon Kendall, you are my favorite person in this entire office." James said as he watched Kendall clean his desk. "And they are going to ask me to train whoever comes in your place. You know I hate training people. I'm a horrible teacher, unlike you." He said with a frown but Kendall didn't pay attention to him, he was busy clearing out his desk.

"I just need a change. And I think my new job is quite interesting." He worked hard to keep his expression neutral, the fact that half of his face didn't move made the job much easier.

"The administration department at the local school? Let's be honest Kendall, you are only going their 'cause your best friend-what's his name…."

"Carlos." Kendall said, trying to help him finish the sentence.

"Yes, 'because he works in the same school as a teacher."

"So what if I am?" Kendall said, shrugging.

"Please don't leave me Kendall. I'm going to get so bored here without you. Who is going to pick you up when you trip over your own feet? Or who is going to tell you what's in fashion anymore and what isn't? C'mon Blondie, you need me. And more so, I _need_ you. Who is going to scare away all those people that hit on me? Or who is going to find my lucky comb when I need it. Or who is going to cover up for me when I show up to work drunk? Kendall we both need each other….it almost like we are meant to be together." James finished lowering his head, the last part was almost a whisper but Kendall had heard it clearly.

Hearing the truth from James's lips, hit Kendall in the gut. It is true, they were meant to be together. But he knew it would never happen, so why put both of them through the heartache? "Well, you don't need a gargoyle in your office." Kendall snapped.

James waved his hand dismissively. "Who cares about your looks?"

"You do! Remember? I would have to date a blind!" Kendall almost shouted. If you got anymore angrier smoke would start coming out of his ears.

But when he saw the look on James's face, all the anger left his body in an instance. "I'm sorry." James said in a very small voice.

"It's okay. You are right though. I would have to date a blind. This face is just so…._disgusting_. No one in their right mind could ever love it."

"n-no. That's not true."

"James please, lying is not going to make me feel any better."

"But it's not a lie." The intensity in James's eyes made Kendall's stomach feel funny. The was giving Kendall the same look Logan gave Carlos when he told him that he couldn't get him a puppy for the Christmas 'cause it would be too much responsibility and none of them were ready for that now. Carlos had been so sad that at the end Logan had given up and got him a puppy. Kendall had made fun of him the entire night, saying how he was whipped. But no, that couldn't be it. They were in love and Kendall and James weren't.

Kendall was sitting in his office chair, with a cardboard box filled with all his belongings in it. James walked towards him and took the box off his lap. He knelt down to Kendall's right side and put his hand on the armrest of the chair. "James what are you…" before Kendall could finish, James laid his lips against Kendall's cheek. The kiss could barely be felt through the tough scar tissue, but it shook Kendall to his core.

James took Kendall's face in his hands and looked at him straight in the eyes. So many emotions going through both of them at the moment, "will you be my date to the new year's party?"

When Kendall didn't reply for several moments, still processing what had happened in his head, James's started grinning. "I've never left someone speechless before just by kissing them on the cheek."

"But you're supposed to dance at the party. I can barely walk without trying to kill myself." Kendall said stupidly.

"See, this just proves my earlier point. You need me."

**At the New Year's party**

James had picked a special outfit for Kendall. Which according to him made Kendall look totally hot, but Kendall knew he had nothing on James who could make the simplest of clothes look amazing. By the time they reached the party some of the people where already drunk and the DJ was playing a slow song dedicated to all the couples.

James literally dragged Kendall to the middle of the dance floor. He took Kendall's hand into his, smiled sweetly and said, "Dance with me." It wasn't a question, telling Kendall that he had no other choice but to. The floor was filled with people that Kendall knew and worked with on daily basis. They were all looking at him now, not trying to ignore him because of his scar.

James positioned both Kendall's hands around his neck and placed both his on his waist. He slowly took the lead and Kendall tried to follow him. Though he stepped on James foot about a million times and almost crushed his balls while trying to twirl in, James wasn't mad at all. He just smiled and made fun of Kendall for being such a horrible dancer.

At midnight, the countdown began and as soon as the clock struck 12, James lips landed of Kendall. After the kiss broke, James kept his forehead on Kendall's, their noses touching. "I love you." He said.

Inside Kendall's heart it was like a million fireworks were going off, he wanted to say it back so bad, but decided to play with James a little bit. "hm…I thought a person would have to be blind to love me?" he asked teasingly.

A playful smile danced on James's lips when he said, "I am blind Kendall, blinded by my love for you."

_Hope you like it, don't forget to review. _


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